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Kaizen Tip 104: Tied up in Knots

This week’s tip comes to you from Steve Marriott of Kaizen Training.

In relationship coaching, Human Needs Psychology introduces us to the concept of the “double bind”. Simply put, this is where a relationship deteriorates through the apparent stagnation of one or both partners. For example one partner may express a need for control, but when their partner submits to this, the controlling partner loses respect and attraction due to this show of ‘weakness’.

When I first heard this theory it reminded me of many examples within organisations where the contrast between what is said and what is expected cause unnecessary procrastination and paralysis.

Here are some of the more common corporate double binds we’ve experienced.

“You’re empowered”…..but all decisions must be run by me.
“We learn through our mistakes”….but failure is not an option
“We invest in our people”…..but the training budget is always the first to go.
“Everyone is equal here”…just don’t park your car in my space
“We encourage creativity and challenging thinking”….but when you challenge me, I’ll become angry.
“Quality comes first”...except when we need to improve our quarterly figures.
“Our customer is at the heart of our business”...just don’t bring them or their problems to me – that’s what we have a Customer Service team for

Do any of these sound familiar? Perhaps you are experiencing other corporate double binds within your organisation?

So how do you release yourself from double binds? Well, recognising them for what they are and the impact they are having is a great start.

Next recognise and accept that the responsibility to break free is yours. Ask yourself:

How am I contributing to this situation being exactly the way it is?
What can I do differently to influence this situation in a more positive way?
Who can I learn from?

With your line manager, discuss and clarify your role and responsibility with this situation.

Create a number of positive actions. To do this, decide which Human Need (or Needs) this dilemma fulfils. If more than one, which one is the stronger Need?

Certainty – The need for comfort, routine and safety

Variety (Uncertainty) – The need for change, challenge and interest

Connection and Love – The need for connection and to feel valued

Significance – The need to be recognised as unique, special

Growth – The need to learn, grow and develop

Contribution – The need to be of service beyond yourself

Having decided which need is being fulfilled, create a number of options which will satisfy this need and which are more positive for you and the organisation.