LeadingMinds Tip 143: Me, Myself and I

This week's tip comes to you from Steve Marriott of Kaizen Training.

Do you find yourself behaving 'out of character' occasionally?  Have you noticed times when your behaviour tends to be dictated by your environment or responsibility at the time?  Have you ever said something like...?

• "That outburst just wasn't like me."
• "He's not himself today"
• "Let me put my manager head on."
• "I'm a different person at home/on the football field/on a night out"
• "That was out of character."
• "The real me wouldn't say that"

...to explain non typical behaviour?

Self awareness is a key success factor for many of us in both our personal and professional lives - the discovery of our true self, that special person we are at heart, the one that we become when all the pressures of our jobs, families and environment are released from us.

Our world is far from perfect - so in reality we rarely experience this 'true' self, spending the greater proportion of our lives expressing altered behaviours from our multi-faceted character.

So what's really happening here? Are we part of an army of clones who spring up at certain times and hijack our lives? Or is this a demonstration of how malleable and adaptable we have become to complement our constantly changing environments?

Without too much effort I created this list of roles/identities I hold:

Coach, Facilitator, Consultant, Adviser, Author, Designer, Director, Accountant, Administrator....And...Husband, Dad, Son, Brother, Friend, Handyman.....

All of which create differing behaviours and indeed thought patterns and values. For instance, my role as a Coach places different (and some similar) demands upon me to that as husband. (My instant leading of a group of participants into song and point-blank refusal to entertain the thought of karaoke remains an eternal puzzle to my family.)

Many people create coping strategies to allow them to 'manage' and explain these character changes. If our whole life is a matter of choice, what avenues and opportunities might be opened to us if we were to recognise our behavioural facets and choose them consciously rather than suppressing or making apologies for them? What qualities could my Coach bring to my role as a Father? Certainly patience! How about Friend to my Adviser role...deeper rapport, more humour?

So how can we more consciously embrace our adaptable and malleable characters?

Call to action - Who are you today?

• Take a few minutes to write down a list of your roles
• For each role, consider the strengths and values each has
• Look at your multi faceted personality - where could you consciously employ each facet to bring you better results at work or at home?